Have You Stopped Beating Yourself With That 2 by 4?!

People who are in recovery from addiction have an analogy. They talk about a man or woman who is in pain because of his/her problem. Because s/he is in so much pain, they pick up a two by four and beat themselves over the head. Then, because they are in so much pain, they do it again, and again, and again! It's an analogy for those of us who try to deal our problems in the same ineffective ways over and over again.

Are you sick and tired of problems? Or are you sick and tired of the problems that have been added to your problems as a result of your inability to solve your problems? Before I go on, let me say that I have to plead guilty to having used far too ineffective problem-solving strategies: avoidance, anger, helplessness, hopelesness.

However, to achieve the goals you have set for yourself, one of the key success factors you will need to learn is effective problem solving.

I personally have been reading through a book regarding creating my ideal business. One of the key traits that successful business owners have is the ability to think in a linear and non-emotional fashion. In order to do so, you must adopt a systematic method for problem solving.

Define the Problem Clearly

Ask yourself the "W" questions: When does this occur, Who is involved, Why does it happen, What happens, and the "H" question: How does it happen?

Focus on the Future

Rather than get caught up in the past, which too often leads to casting blame and ending up in an angry, frustrated frame of mind, ask the following questions:

• Where do we go from here?
• What do we do from here?
• What are our options about the future?

By focusing on the future, you will be directing your thinking and reserves to the only part of the equation that really matters, and the only part over which you really have control.

Generate Solutions

Speak about solutions, versus moaning about the problems. Once you have accepted the problem, sleep on it. Take a day or two to gain some distance from it. Then, write the solution on a white board or on a pad of paper, and come up with 20 different possible solutions. Don't judge, don't comment, just get all those ideas down. Afterward, you can go back with yourself and with another person, analyze the one or two solutions most likely to succeed, and start implementing those solutions.

Now, are you ready to trade that 2 by 4 in for a more effective solution? This week, utilize the problem solving method discussed above. Stay focused on the future, generate solutions, and confidently pick up the one or two best solutions and run with it. Your head will be a lot less sore, and you will be a lot more effective in your life.

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