Living your own life well during hard times isn’t easy.
Gustavo Galvez, a medical student in Mexico, had to dig deep when he found himself suddenly arrested for a capital offense just a couple of years ago.
He certainly hadn’t intended to commit any crime. He just wanted to make enough money to study overseas. So he sold an old Winchester rifle to an acquaintance in the neighborhood. He was young and wasn’t aware that this is a federal crime in Mexico.
Yet he found himself suddenly facing 10-15 years in Mexican prison. In his own words, Mexican prisons have a reputation for being dangerous and unjust.
Having gone through his time in prison, Gustavo transcended a very difficult time. He shares eight strategies you can apply for living your own life well in the face of adversity.
Find Courage
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon
Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared. ~Edward Vernon Rickenbacker
Decide, today, to face life courageously. As a Christian, I find courage in my God, like David in I Samuel 30:6.
Gustavo decided to be brave.
When we take actions of courage, even though we’re terrified, we grow.
Accept terror. Accept fear. But don’t give in to it.
Find courage by reading Tess Marshall’s blog, The Bold Life Blog: Inspiration for Fearless Living.
Accept Reality
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism [or any other situation/condition], I could not stay sober [or serene]; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. Alcoholics Anonymous, page 449.
Reality is the unvarnished truth of what is going on in life now.
We human beings go into denial when we seek to defend ourselves from pain. But the sooner we can accept the truth of reality, the more quickly we can move into problem-solving and solutions to help us work with reality instead of trying to ignore it.
Are you trying to escape realities in your life? Drinking, drugs, entertainment, binge eating can all be forms of escape. Resolve to face and accept reality as your friend, not your foe.
Pay Attention
There are positive and negative aspects in every situation.
Which aspects are you paying attention to?
Ask yourself the right questions to unlock the opportunities in your circumstances.
Take Notes
Journaling is a powerful way of excavating the significance of your own stories and experiences. It’s a very effective way of coaxing out thoughts, questions, and insights into your patterns of behavior. LaRae Quy
There is something about writing things down that triggers learning, acceptance, and serenity.
Gustavo Galvez wrote every single day, through the darkest days of his imprisonment.
Journal online or offline daily.
Record the lessons you’re learning in the midst of adversity.
Here’s an article from Michael Hyatt, 7 Benefits of Keeping A Daily Journal , to help you get started.
Never Surrender
Gustavo’s father visited him shortly after Gustavo started his prison sentence. He told his son, “I’m not going to tell you what to feel or think. You may be angry at God, angry at the government, bitter, sad, scared. But whatever you do, Never Surrender.”
I recently read a powerful book written for kids who are grieving, Don’t Despair on Thursdays. All of us going through grief will have grief attacks, when we’re overcome with sadness, anger, and raw nerve endings. When those attacks come, Dr. Moser suggests, we can allow ourselves to feel the grief. The key, however, is not to despair. Despair means, literally, loss of hope.
Gustavo shared that in prison, suicide was the ultimate solution to despair. His father was imploring him not to surrender to despair. Gustavo wrestled with his decision, but chose to live, no matter what. After making that decision, he was filled with a determination to keep on living well.
Have you decided you will never surrender to despair, no matter how hard life gets? Here is an international suicide hotline resource you can rely on anytime you are tempted to give in to despair.
Do What It Takes
Gustavo’s imprisonment nearly immobilized his mother. But she resolved to do whatever it took to get her son out of prison. Every single day she did something to argue her son’s case. Whenever his lawyer needed another piece of information or a call to another government department, she did it.
We can feel we are running through jello when facing hard times. But we can do what it takes, one day at a time, to live our lives well.
What habits are you developing to serve you well when life gets hard? Do you have a morning quiet time? Are you reading spiritual material? Are you cultivating your relationships? Are you staying physically fit? Are you balancing your checkbook? Do you eat nutritious food?
Choose How To See The Situation
Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one the stars Frederick Langbridge
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. The Apostle Paul, I Corinthians 9: 24-27.
Tony Robbins taught me the importance of choosing metaphors that help me see life constructively.
You can see life as a prison, or you can choose to see life as an adventure, for example.
Choose constructive metaphors for your life today.
Here And Now
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? Jesus Christ, Matthew 6: 25-34, the Bible.
Today is the only day we have.
Life is here and now.
When we can be fully attentive to the wonder of life around us, we have discovered the secret of living life now.
Learn how to deal with anxiety and worry. Choose to enjoy living life in the present.
This is the video that inspired this post. Enjoy!
photo credit: Kelly Mari
About Stephen Borgman
Stephen,
What a powerful message from Gustavo!
Acceptance: We have to accept the reality of where we are and what we face in life. Gustavo thinks of what the worst that can happen and thereby learning how to deal with his situation and accepting it.
Courage: We need to summon up courage to accept reality and overcome it.
Pay Attention: When we do, we are able to “see” opportunities. Even a crisis can be an opportunity.
Take Notes: Writing a journal is a discipline that we can learn from. We can understand ourselves in a much deeper way.
Never Surrender: There are so many ways life or thoughts can beat you down, but surrendering will break you. Gustavo’s Dad points that powerful message to help him not commit suicide under such horrid conditions. He did not surrender and choose life!
Do Whatever It Takes: Like Gustavo’s mother…she never gave up no matter how bad she felt. She took action every day, no mater how small.
Choose the way how you see things: That message gave him the opportunity to love more.
Here and Now: The picture of Gustavo and his Dog – living in the here and now takes a lot of discipline. We need to have that mindset in order to attain peace. He learned from his dog I also learned that lesson from my dog also.
Thanks so much for this powerful video!
Donna
Donna Merrill recently posted…Blog Review Of 2012
Donna, that was a great summary of Gustavo’s points! Although the video was a little difficult to understand at times, the overall message was a powerful one, indeed.
Thank you, Steve. What an inspiring post. The temptation is to give up when life gets hard because that seems to be the easier solution.
Fighting and courage are both difficult things to do and master. The first step though, is a decision. Like Gustavo – a decision has to be made to live and live well. May we all make this decision in 2013.
Happy New year to you and yours!
Anne @ confidence blog recently posted…Confidence To Have Peace
Anne, thanks for the input. I like your statement: fighting and courage are difficult things to do and master, but it all begins with a decision.
Inspiring article Steve. You may be aware that I’ve published a book on growing greater resilience in life, and many of the fundamental resiliency skills are represented in Gustavo’s message. According to research on survivors of extreme crisis situations, having a purpose larger than self is imperative, as is the ability to adapt to new and challenging situations. It seems from his story that Gustavo definitely exhibited those traits. But I think the most important thing to bear in mind is that resilience is cultivated over time by learning to effectively deal with day-to-day challenges. Like many things in life, there is no quick fix. Once you’re blindsided by adversity, there’s little than can be done other than to learn from the situation.
marquita herald recently posted…The Best Blog Post You Never Read
Marquita, I love your point that resilience is something that we need to develop on a daily, moment-by-moment basis. The best “fix” is to build habits of resilience.
What a wonderful story about Gustavo, he was certainly courageous, and I guess suicide might’ve been called the “cowards way out” in that case. Although, I think it’s also courageous to commit suicide at times. I watched a movie recently called “Seven Pounds” with Will Smith as the star, and his suicide and the way he led upto it was the most courageous act I’ve seen.
Julieanne van Zyl recently posted…For your MLM Business why use this simple business model?
Wow, Julieann. I’m guessing that movie may have been somewhat controversial, given the stance on suicide. Is it based on a true life story, or was it fiction? You’ve made me curious; I’ll have to watch that movie sometime.
Hi Stephen, no the movie wasn’t controversial. In my opinion, Will Smith in this role, had a very good reason for committing suicide. But, I can’t tell you what it was, because I’ll spoil the movie. Basically he wanted to make up for a HUGE mistake he made which cost other people’s lives. It was very sad and moving, great movie!
Julieanne van Zyl recently posted…For your MLM Business why use this simple business model?
Hi Stephen,
wow, you covered so much in this post, very insightful!
Yes, I agree using ‘escape route’ with addictive behavior doesn’t get us anywhere.
Our bodies store it all in our cells. We do have these coping mechanisms and we can learn to do without them.
Journalling is one of my favorites. Through writing I find self acceptance and insights.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
Love and Light
from
Yorinda
Yorinda recently posted…The Importance of Bees
Yorinda, thank you for your comments. One point I might add is that, when we let go of one coping mechanism, we need to find a healthier coping mechanism to replace it with.
I agree, Stephen, we do need to fill the ‘vacuum’ letting go of the old habit with a new one.
Being inspired to change helps and we can find that inspiration by asking ourselves over and over again why we want to make changes and look at the feelings we want to feel.
Thank you for your insights!
Love and Light
Yorinda
Yorinda recently posted…The Importance of Bees
Stephen,
I love how you integrated the quotes into this post as you went on and told the story. It was great to read and very inspirational.
Thank you
Clint
Clint Butler recently posted…Daily Blogging Sales Plan for 2013
You’re welcome, Clint. Thank you for the feedback.
Stephen, I’m so happy you wrote this post to help inspire us all to keep going in the face of adversity. Gustavo’s story really shows how important it is to learn how do deal with challenges in life. Finding courage and never surrendering to despair no matter what are two things that have really helped me in difficult times. Thanks for sharing Gustavo’s empowering story of triumph over tragedy.
Shelley Alexander recently posted…10 Ways to Enjoy a Happy Healthy 2013
Shelley, you’re welcome. I know this might be a little off topic, but not too much so: proper nutrition is another great tool for fighting adversity, and your site shows us how to do that!
Stephen,
The Kabbalists say that everything happens for a reason even though it may not be apparent to us at the time it occurs. Gustavo went to prison to find these 8 Keys and to share them with us all.
There is nothing earth shattering in the 8 Keys and I’d venture to say we’ve heard them all before. When put in the context of what Gustavo had to go through to understand them they take on new life and new meaning.
Thanks for sharing this important work.
RICK
Rick Lelchuk recently posted…Extraordinary Living Through Discipline
Rick, you said it so well. Often, the keys themselves are not so profound: but when we go through hard times and learn the lessons, applying them directly to our experience, they become life changing. That’s why Gustavo said he would not have changed his experience.
Excellent post! Thanks for sharing.
I love the Michael Hyatt post you linked to. Journaling is a challenge I don’t seem to be able to dig into. It should come easily to me, given the fact that I did it for more than twenty years in my past. But life seems so crammed full of stuff right now that writing does not come as easily as it once did. That’s something I want to change.
Willena
Willena Flewelling recently posted…December Reflections
Hi, Willena. Maybe just start with 5 minutes of journaling in the morning or evening. Or maybe even just once a week. Over time, you may find you reap the benefits, and the extra time will come.
Life can be harsh, but in being active, taking courage and control, even when it seems hopeless, we can make the best of any situation. Mexican jails are definitely no laughing matter… that is why we have that child song about not wanting to go to Mexico and a policeman is at the door.
Nile recently posted…Best of Blondish.net 2012
I’m not sure I’ve heard that song before, Nile. But you’re right: I’m sure those jails are no laughing matter!
Stephen,
your blog could not come at a better time then in teh beginning of another great year. I am aware of people who see the beginning of a year as a bad thing.. I for one, I always look forward to it since I feel, that give me another chnace of making it better then the last… and I must say this was not easy to do years ago, but thanks to many people like you who focus on what good ahead and not what is not so good… I am able to get ahead much better and improve as I go on in life.. I thank YOU very much for devoting your life to make life better for yoru self and others…
Thank you, Steve. What an inspiring post. The temptation is to give up when life gets hard because that seems to be the easier solution.
As I see it fighting and courage and a lot more that was not mentioned here are very difficult things to master but as you pointed out.. by PAYING attention… this can be eliminated very easy and it is our responsibility to do it and pay attention at all times… because by paying attention means that we care and by caring we will improve sooner or later.
Thanks again for yoru contribution to the world to make it a better place.
nickc.
nick catricala recently posted…Lost Direction
Stories like that of Gustavo always hit me and appreciate what I have, at least temporarily. I wish I could embed that in my psyche to pull from daily. Just another example of staying positive and never giving up. I can’t read enough of these stories. Thanks Stephen.
Steven Hughes recently posted…Instagram: How to Become Instafamous
What a powerful set of principles to live by. Interesting that just today in my Infinite Way meditation tape session, Joel Goldsmith reminded us to let go of all of our desires and to trust that our good, what is ours, is coming to us and is already here.
Gustavo says to never surrender. However, in love relationships and in many work situations, surrendering to what is presently happening can lead to future success. Surendering does not imply being weak and without integrity. Surrendering is accepting what is and this provides room for your mind to create new visions of the way you choose to create the future.
Warmly,
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted…Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 3 – The Present Moment
Fascinating and inspiring story, Stephen.
I am reminded of Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s “Letters From Prison” (aks “The Cost of Discipleship”).
Bonhoeffer’s resistance to the Nazi war on Christianity, spent his years in a concentration camp before his execution, weeks before Hitler’s fall from power. He insisted that his imprisonment was a blessing and opportunity that few of his peers were afforded…. a time for reflection and writing. Christ, he insisted, taught us to walk in the way of persecution and suffering, and it was for this reason that he took on human form to begin with.
Bonhoeffer’s theology was highly influential in the post-war world, and was the result of his highly productive, inspiring and exemplary imprisonment and execution.
In a time when Christians have again been subjected to worldwide persecution, Bonhoeffer’s work is both prophetic and instructive.
The experience of Galvez has many parallels that are well worth examining, and meditating on. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.
David Merrill 101 recently posted…The Back End of Solo Ads
Hi Stephen, This is a very inspiring post and video… Gustavo created a great learning experience for himself…and I am grateful that he is willing to share it with us. Thanks.
Celeste Smuckerc recently posted…The paradox of setting and reaching goals today
Steve,
There’s something that I live by and I have it tattooed on me as well. I think it’s fitting here.
“Wealth is of the heart and the mind, not the pocket.”
Wealth in this context has unlimited meanings and interpretations. Money, Ability, Character, Courage, etc…
All forms of wealth that we embody. We shouldn’t lose sight of this when tough times come around, instead we should leverage it in our favor.
Dewane Mutunga recently posted…Why I Switched From AWeber To GetResponse
Wow none of us could imagine what he went through there. It is awesome that he was able to stay strong and learn those lessons. So apply that to normal life can just be even more effective!
-Ben
Ben recently posted…Get a Little Inspiration!
Great Blog post Steve for someone who is having difficult times in life. They always can decide to make a change in life right now.
Ted Hunsaker recently posted…Empower Network Inner Circle Review- Speak Life Into the World By David Wood
I heard about this guy on the news…thanks for sharing the post and his video…very inspiring…I learn about patience and tenacity from my cat everyday!
Teresa
Hey Stephen,
Aren’t all prisons dangerous
. Not dealing with your problems and just suppressing them by doing drugs or drinking are not going to do you anything good. In fact, you will just have more and more problems as time goes on. You will just have more problems in the end (and now an addiction).
I think writing is one of the best ways to deal with stuff when stuff gets tough. That and working out help me a lot. You need to keep your mind busy on stuff to better yourself. Maybe, mistakes happen for a reason and we shouldn’t get to down on ourself when times are hard. I can think of a ton of people that NEED to read this post.
Garen recently posted…How Will Social Media Influence SEO in 2013
I guess the key to getting through any trying time is to never surrender. As long as you continue on your path, you can transcend any difficulty. There are so many laws today, that one can fall victim to any of them. As we have been told many times, ignorance of the law is no defense. So, I suggest, we all continue to live a good life – the best, most righteous life possible. Thank you for sharing.
Angela Arnold recently posted…Facebook Marketing Magic
Angela, thank you for your input. Ironically, I think there are two types of surrender. One form of surrender is a health acceptance of reality; the other form of surrender is giving up and giving up on living life. We need the healthy form of surrender, while continuing to live life with strength from God and others.
Thanks for your article Stephen ,
I just loved the video very well done.
I listen and imagine, Gustavo in this hard situation and finding solutions for everything.
Changing things from negative to positive.
Jose Palomino recently posted…How do I make money?
Jose, thank you for your comment. I appreciate having you as a visitor to my blog
What a moving story, Stephen. Here in the U.S. we tend to forget how draconian the laws can be in other countries, but it also happens here that people like Gustavo can get trapped by breaking a law they didn’t even know existed. His story is an inspiration to all of us who sometimes get “down”, and a reminder that suffering is always a choice. We can choose to respond to pain or grief by suffering or by seeking the gift in it.
On my wall I have a reminder that says:
“Everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to, and some things just aren’t to my personal taste.”
Thanks for posting this!
Alan
Alan Jenkin recently posted…The World Ended Yesterday
The thing that stands out for me as I am working on that right now is the journaling part. What a life experience Gustavo had to live, and thank goodness he chose to take the challenge. Many I am sure would not have. As mentioned everything happens for a reason some of us get our wake up call in far more intense ways than others! I guess it helps to know the laws too. Awesome article!
Holly recently posted…10 Simple Ideas To Get More MOVE In Your Day
Hi Stephen:
What a powerful story and example. I love hearing stories of how people overcome adversity.
Thanks!
Kevin
Kevin Martineau recently posted…4 ways to have a right attitude
Hi Stephen. This is such a profound post and story. I think that many times we think that we wouldn’t be able to handle it if such-and-such would happen. I believe that people are stronger than they sometimes believe they are. This is really a post to live for. Thanks
I wondered why the book you mentioned was titled, “Don’t Despair on Thursdays”. I mean, if it’s a book for children on grief management, grief doesn’t happen only on Thursdays.
But I found it on Amazon, and discovered a whole series of books for kids on various topics, and each is for a different day of the week.
Faith in the Lord was what carried our 10-year-old through those early weeks after the loss of our oldest son three years ago. Nathaniel knew his big brother knew the Lord, and was safe with Him. It helped him when he got back to school after Christmas break, and he had to paint the plaster-of-paris sculpture he had done of our family just days before James’ homegoing. He couldn’t take James our of the sculpture, and wouldn’t have even if he could have… but it was hard, painting everyone with James there in the midst of us, yet he was gone from us. To this day Nathaniel, now 13, is able to remember James and speak of him naturally and without tears, knowing he is with the Lord.
Willena
Willena Flewelling recently posted…December Reflections
Hi Stephen,
What an inspirational story. I always have great admiration for people who go through tragedy and use that time to help others overcome obstacles in their lives. There are many people who would only ever think of themselves and how terrible their life was
We can learn a lot from this story. Thanks for sharing,
Beth
Beth Hewitt recently posted…Blogging for Leads or NOT?
Hi Stephen,
Donna did a great job summarizing Gustavo’s video. His video is very powerful and I couldn’t imagine going through what he went through. He took a horrible situation and is now sharing his eight steps to help others overcome and change their story if they are in a crisis or tragedy. I’ve had my ups and downs, but I can fortunately say I have never had to deal with the challenges Gustavo had to face. It takes a lot of courage to get through this ordeal! I know his book will be a great resource from someone who has experienced adversity first hand. Never surrender!
Raena Lynn
Raena Lynn recently posted…Don’t Have Your Own Product? Can Affiliate Marketing Be Your Answer?
Wow, what a great post Stephen. This really spoke to me, motivated me, and even put some things in my personal life more into perspective. Great write up and appreciate your insight on this topic.
Michael Levy recently posted…Going the Extra Mile…When is it too Much?
Michael, it means a lot to see the positive impact this young man had on your life, as it did mine!
Hi Stephen,
Thanks for sharing the story of Gustavo, he is a courageous man and a very inspiring one.
When I am in the edge and do not feel good enough, all I have to do is trust. I trust that I will get there and believe that where I am is perfect in this moment. I am being positive that everything will be alright and in the end, everything is just fine indeed.
Patricia Anderson recently posted…Live Your Life Purpose: Angie’s Story
Hi Stephen,
since your post is packed with so much great information I am back to read it again.
The part about acceptance makes a lot of sense.
As I was reading it I realized that I have not been as accepting of myself and others as I thought.
Well that is something I will start with accepting myself for.
Acceptance in itself could make a big difference!
Grieving is something I only have been really able to allow myself in the last few years and I am grateful for that.
Thank you for sharing Gustavo’s story, it is an inspiration.
Love and Light
Yorinda
Yorinda recently posted…Google Reader will soon be extinct What are the Alternatives?