Do you know how to go beyond success to the beauty of contentment?
It’s easy, if you have a guide. This article represents some research from some wise souls in the area of contentment.
“You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.” Vernon Howard
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13
What is Contentment?
Webster’s defines contentment as “the state of being contented.” And “contented” means “feeling or showing satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation”
The Benefits of Contentment
In order to learn contentment, you have to know what’s in it for you. Fred Bryant, author of Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience
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| Contentment by Lachlan Hartley on Flickr Creative Commons |
Contentment helps us make good decisions, reminding us of what has served us well in the past.
Contentment creates an upward spiral in our experiences, emotions, relationships, mental capacities.
Tips to Easily Learn Contentment
1) Savoring
Savoring is a term from the study of positive psychology. or some of us, it takes work and the recognition that if we aren’t stopping to savor we are missing out on the reality of our lives. In some cases it may take an understanding of what those ‘good things’ are for each of us. Perhaps that’s one of the places where the ‘meaning’ branch of Seligman’s positive subjective experience intersects with the ‘pleasure’ branch
We can learn to savor. One of the strengths of positive psychology, according to Peterson and Seligman’s Classification of Character Strengths and Virtues, is the strength of “appreciation of beauty and excellence” There are ways we can learn to savor or mindfully engage in thoughts or behaviors that heighten the effect of positive events on positive feelings. According to author Fred Bryant, there are 3 forms of savoring:
a) Anticipatory -- getting excited while preparing for the experience, imagining what the experience will be like
b) In the Moment — be fully present, use all your senses to be present. Notice how things feel physically, use your eyes to fully see everything around you, smell the smells, hear the sounds, breathe deeply.
c) Reminiscent– this is the act of remembering, with gratitude, a pleasant experience. For example, I have an app on my iPhone (called Live Happy) in which I can take pictures during pleasant experiences (these moments include a date with my wife, going to the dog show with my son, or an afternoon out with my daughter, and even moments alone after a run at night).
2) Do Less Each Day
Use Pareto’s Principle to pare down your To Do list to only the most important things. For example, if you have 15 items on your daily To-Do list, use the 20/80 rule: 80% of your effectiveness will come from 20% of your activities. So multiply your To Do list by 20%, and you’ll need to shorten your To Do List down to the Big Three most important things to get done that day. Repeat the same process the next day. By having only 3 things to accomplish, you can be more relaxed while working on those three items.
3) Tame Your Negative Thoughts and Emotions
This suggestion comes from Oprah.Com. It is suggested that you take allow yourself only 9 minutes each day to complain, whine, and vent. Break your ‘negativity’ time into three breaks of three minutes apiece. By freeing your time up from negative thoughts and emotions, you will be giving your subconsious and conscious mind time to focus on positive solutions. If you don’t believe me, read a former post of mine called “Warning! Worrying May Be Good For Your Career!”
4) Cultivate Your Gratitude
Gratitude is commanded in the Bible over and over. But it’s not a chore: it’s a privilege! Our Creator knows how we are made! Gratitude is to contentment what electricity is to a light bulb. Without gratitude, it’s going to be awfully hard to cultivate the virtue of appreciation of who we are and what we have.
I suggest that you work on a gratitude list: Each night before going to bed, ask yourself, “What am I grateful for today?”
(You may also enjoy the list of power questions that I compiled in this article I wrote for the Advanced Life Skills blog).
5) Take a 20 minute vacation
Each day for one week, plan and participate in a daily vacation, a 20-minute or more period devoted to doing something you enjoy.
a. Avoid distractions during your vacation.
b. Notice how you feel and what you enjoy.
c. At the end of your vacation intentionally plan the next day’s vacation and anticipate it.
d. At the end of the day look back on your vacation and savor it.
e. At the end of the week recall all seven vacations and the positive feelings of them.
These are just a few suggestions. If you can think of some more ways to live a contented life, drop me a comment below!
Articles and Blogs Referenced for this Post:
Savor: A Crucial Skill for Happiness
Peaceful Simplicity – How To Live a Life of Contentment
How To Savor Your Time (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Savor-Your-Time)
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About Stephen Borgman
Great list!
It makes me feel content =-)
Gratitude is indeed a very powerful way to feel more contentment. Many people don’t know that having and showing gratitude, helps a lot in the contentment department. It is something worthwhile to do for yourself and for others.
I truly like the “Vacation” Idea! This way every day can be a vacation …
Thanks for sharing this idea’s!
Marc, my car and my basement were flooded with two feet of water this weekend. It was gratitude, employed during difficult circumstances, along with the help of others that has been getting me through this challenging times. I appreciate your comment
Hi Stephen,
I spend so much time writing and at my computer that I MAKE myself take mini vacations during the day – I’ll take my dog out for a short walk to “survey our kingdom” and enjoy the ocean and mountain view from my deck; or I’ll curl up somewhere comfortable and read a couple of chapters of a good book; or I’ll exercise for 20 minutes. It’s really amazing how you can really feel the benefit of such a short break. Thanks for the great tips.
Another inspirational post … I must say I am already a huge fan of the 20 minute vacation. In fact I dare say I’ve made an art form of it
Marquita, as you have written so well about boundaries and taking care of self, I’m not surprised that you do well in this area. And as a result, you are probably even more productive during your working times. I’m learning, more and more, that I need to make these times of rest and rejuvenation a priority in my life.
I love the positivity of this post. You can never be happy and contented if you don’t have a positive attitude. This is so inspiring. Thanks for sharing and for the tips.
Twitter: gratitudegame
says:
Hi Stephen
thanks for this great post .
I so agree with every thing you say and I need to work on some of them my self.
The one I love the most is the 20 minute vacation every day I wil work on that
one and it just make sens to do it.
Regards
theuns
Theuns thank you for your comment. Being the Gratitude expert, I thought you would like the cultivating of gratitude the most
. It seems that the idea of vacation is the most appealing to everyone reading this post 
Twitter: KevinMartineau
says:
Hi Stephen:
Awesome thoughts on contentment! I love your suggestions – especially number 1. We need to spend a lot more time savoring life.
Blessings,
Kevin
Kevin, thank you for the input. The saying about stopping along the road to smell the roses is particularly appropriate when I think about savoring life.
Contentment boils down to living in the present moment, appreciating your life as it is. But contentment does not necessarily lead to complacency. You can feel content and yet have a desire to make a difference, change something, connect with someone. Being content requires a delicate balance of accepting what is and planning for the future.
You have offered so many simple yet doable techniques for enhancing contentment. Now if I would just follow your advice. I can start by limiting my To-do lists!
Erica
Erica, you said that so well: “being content requires a delicate balance of accepting what is, and planning for the future.” I’m going to work on remembering that this week and going forward.
Hi Steve, I’ve never heard the suggestion from Oprah before, about worrying for 9 mins a day, that sounds like a good idea. Also, the daily 20 minute vacations sound like lots of fun! Is that a vacation in the mind, or in reality for 20 minutes? I love going scuba diving so I treat that as my mini vacation!
Thanks for this post, you have some great ideas and tips Steve. Regards from Julieanne
Julieanne, I’m sure you can take both real and mental vacations. The mental vacations are, of course, free! One of the best ways to worry is on paper: write down your worries as a problem. Then spend your worry time writing out some solutions, and schedule those solutions as next tasks on your calendar.
Great tips Steve. If every person in the world would be contented, there would no longer be discoveries and changes. I also think it just goes on in a cycle. Being unsatisfied brings happiness also, it is when a person finds a way to get to another step in the cycle. When he achieves it, he also becomes happy. Contentment though is a thing that occurs to the open-minded. To people who knows there is happiness in anything, everything.
Jans
Jans, you point out a very good note: creative discontent is a good thing when it leads to innnovation
Thank you for stopping by!
Twitter: raenalynntweet1
says:
Hi Stephen,
Thank you for sharing this article on contentment. You listed the following 5 tips to learn contentment:
1) Savoring
2) Do Less Each Day
3) Tame Your Negative Thoughts and Emotions
4) Cultivate Your Gratitude
5) Take a 20 minute vacation
All of these are very helpful tips. I especially like the 20 minute vacation. It takes a while to learn that we are in control of our environments and our contentment level. It is so much better to go through life knowing that we can control how content we are rather than allowing external factors to determine our level of contentment. Thanks for sharing,
Raena Lynn
Raena Lynn, thank you for stopping by. I’m glad you found these tips helpful! And I hope you take plenty of vacations in the near future
Twitter: tonydgoff
says:
The article on contentment was excellent. I think this is one of the secrets of success. Like you said in the Bible God talks extensively about gratitude and being thankful for what you have. Thanks for the article and I will be reading more.
Tony, thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your input. Gratitude has been getting me through a fairly challenging time this week, as I lost my car and many possessions to flooding.
Twitter: tonydgoff
says:
Hey Steve, I am so sorry to hear about your week losing your car and possessions to flooding. I will keep you in my prayers. Thanks for the response. Let me know if I can do anything Steve.
Thank you, Tony! I appreciate your prayers. Prayer is powerful indeed.
Twitter: gratitudegame
says:
Hi Stephen
I think i miss the gratitude part LOL.
that is not just important but
the most Important. But i think it is also good the just give you 20 min / day
of to relax 100% and forget about all the bad energy that flow over you that
day.
Regards
The Gratitude expert
Hello Stephen……I enjoyed your post. Ireally love the 20 minute vacation! I cannot wait to get started on that.
We all need to spend more time appreciating what we have Savor Life!
I love the part about having only 9 minutes each day to whine and vent. Think of all the time we would have left to concentrate on the good things we have. We would all be surprised at that.
Thanks again for this post! I am off to my first 20 minute vacation!
Barbara Harnsberger
Hi, Barbara. You know, as great as the idea of vacation sounds, it can be so difficult for us to actually slow down and take that vacation. I need to take my own advice, since this week has been so hectic. Thanks for the reminder
Twitter: Yourinda
says:
Hi Stephen,
awesome tips on how to achieve more contentment.
“Doing less each day” makes sense to me, as long as what we do contributes to a sense of achievement.
I like the suggestion to vent negative feeling (in a constructive way) and doing it three time a day. So far I allow myself to express whatever in my journalling each morning, which helps me to get onto a positive track.
Thank you for the food for thought!
Cheers
Yorinda