The absurd man is he who never changes.
AUGUSTE BARTHELEMY (1796-1867)
French poet and satirist
There is a story, I cannot remember where I heard it, about an experiment that was done with grasshoppers (I think). They are put into an upside-down glass, jumping and jumping against the glass walls. Finally, exhausted, they give up. The glass is removed, and the grasshoppers, broken, stop jumping. They truly believe that they are imprisoned.
In the same way, we build, or allow glass walls to be built around us. Those walls are our vocabulary, our self-talk, , and the opinions of others that we have come to believe as fact.
“But I can’t.”
“Things never go my way.”
“Some people have all the luck.”
Are you waiting to one day win the lottery?
Do you sit and daydream about that promotion without doing any work while at work?
Are you waiting for someone powerful to come into your life and give you a lucky break?
It’s time to get off your butt!
Wake Up!! It’s Your Choice!!
Here are some things to help you change your life for the better!
Success Factor: Value Yourself Highly
As J.B. Glossinger from Morning Coach would say, “You are the miracle of birth.” You are one of the most amazing of God’s creations. If someone told you, “I will give you a million dollars for your eyes”, would you take it? Probably not! If your eyesight is priceless, then how much more precious are you as a human being, with a unique soul, spirit, mind, and body?
Success Factor: Take Responsibility For Your Own Destiny
Repeat these two mantras over and over, until they sink in and become part of your regular subconscious:
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me”
“I am responsible. I am responsible. I am responsible.”
As Richard Gilly Nixon states in his book, The Lazy Man’s Way to Riches, “Stop expecting others to rescue you from your current distress. Get rid of the dependency syndrome. Use your God given abilities and resolve. Exercise your freedom of choice, and embark on your own journey to success by working intelligently, meticulously, and persistently to achieve your success.”
Success Factor: Stop Doing What Does Not Work For You
I am going to tell you what has not worked for me:
Wishing things could be better
Wishing I had other breaks, opportunities, resources that others seemed to be born with
Thinking always and only about myself
Engaging in a protracted pity party
Sitting in front of the tv for more than two hours a night
Sleeping in and barely making it to work
Eating junk food and wondering why my belly kept expanding.
Have you seen improvements in your job, in your salary? Are you still putting off going back to school? Are you still wishing you could squeeze into those jeans? Are you still dreaming about a goal you set for yourself a year ago?
You only have one life to live. Create your legacy NOW!
Success Factor: Take A Productive Action Step Today, And Every Day After That …
According to best selling author Tony Robbins, the key success factor that separates winners from losers is the decision to take massive action. But even better, instead of taking one big massive action, take just one small step toward bettering just one aspect of your life, and then take another step the next day, and so on, for the next 30 days. As J.B. Glossinger from Morning Coach states, all it takes is moving ahead with 1% improvement every day to start effecting some major change in your life.
I can’twait to hear from you about the changes that you are starting to make in your life after reading this article!
photo credit: Peter Huys
Successful people have lived a lot like those grasshoppers, they run into a wall over and over again, each time they learn something and take another route when running into the wall. Finally they find a way to get around/through the wall.
If you do like the grasshoppers you will never jump again, successful people are not special in any way other than that they have the persistence never to give up.
Thanks for sharing that story, it was very interesting.
Daniel M. Wood recently posted…Product Review- The Daily Goal Machine
Daniel, thank you for stopping by. I like the fact that success can be learned. Robert Kiyosaki also stated that we can learn to be entrepeneurs: we just have to be willing to be uncomfortable a lot, as we stretch ourselves to learn new skills and put ourselves in new situations. It’s time to hop over the wall! 🙂
Stephen,
I can relate to the scenario of jumping up and down and not getting anywhere and when the coast is finally clear, just giving up. It’s when we stop resisting that doors magically open and we are able to move forward.
Another thing about taking massive action steps is stopping once in a while and noticing how far we have come. We may never get it all done in this lifetime but we shouldn’t let this stop us from smelling the roses once in a while.
Justin@Mazzastick recently posted…Laughter Is The Antidote For Fear
There’s something mystical, Justin, in what you’re speaking about with the resisting piece. Can you expand on the difference between taking action on your business, versus resisting, versus stopping resisting? I also agree wholeheartedly with you on the importance of living in the moment and enjoying the journey as well as the destination 🙂
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted…Have You Used These Success Factors to Go From Victim to Victor
Hi Stephen,
This is great stuff!
We do really need to take responsibility for our current set of circumstances and then decide to take action on improving it.
Your article is full of great advice and a little smack upside the head too 🙂 We all need that once in awhile!
Thanks for sharing!
Talk soon,
Kevin
Kevin Schmidt recently posted…Could Honesty and Integrity be the Secret Key to Your Dream Business
Kevin, thanks so much for your feedback. That smack in the head has primarily been directed to myself. But I’m glad if it helps my readers as well. I remember listening to Brian Tracy talk about what he says to people who come to him with various complaints in their lives: He just repeats to them, over and over, You are responsible. Although it sounds like tough medicine, it’s the medicine that produces healing 🙂
I want to expand my readership as most bloggers do. I have been resisting guest posting, yet I want to do this because I haven’t done it yet, and it would be considered a “growth” opportunity for me. Instead of forcing or pushing myself to write a guest-post, I am “letting go” instead and allowing the opportunity to come to me.
Now I still wish to guest-post but I will not give my attention to the fact that I haven’t guest posted yet. I am certain that within a few days or maybe even weeks I will have submitted my first guest post. I hope this makes sense. This is one example of something that I have been resisting lately.
Justin@Mazzastick recently posted…Laughter Is The Antidote For Fear
Justin, that’s a great clarification. I appreciate you mentioning it: it’s a very helpful example. By the way, maybe you can get in touch with me to float some ideas you may have for a guest post 🙂
Stop Doing What Does Not Work For You is awesome, I see so many people fail to do this, and sometimes I wanna slap them upside the head and tell them to wake up. Poeple who keep doing the same things and expecting different results really make me want to scream.
James Pruitt recently posted…How the Law of Attraction And Your Self Esteem Fit Together
James, thanks for the comment. Sometimes, I’m sure others want to slap us as well 🙂 It’s human nature to have difficulty doing things differently. We sometimes need to practice compassion toward ourselves and others, balanced with tough love.
Baby steps are key, making those small changes and small steps make the largest changes in the universe.
I love your success factors, they are all VERY important, you must build yourself as/even before you build your business. You will not be successful if you do not believe that you CAN be successful, it is all in belief (99% thought 1% how). You need to take the wanting/wishing out of the equation, you NEED to do it, or just DO IT. Having full belief and valuing yourself highly is VERY important, how can others truly love you and what you do, if you do not love yourself? It can be tough, but it all goes back to what you said about making those 1% changes day by day by day by day by day (you get the point 😉 )
Great post Steve,
Brandon Wraith
Knowledge is POWER.
Brandon Wraith recently posted…Do Things…Without Thinking!
Brandon, having just read your blog post on Baby Steps for accomplishing great things, I know we’re on the same page. Thanks for your thoughts and comments 🙂
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted…Have You Used These Success Factors to Go From Victim to Victor
One of the things that has not worked for me: trying to change more than a few things at once.
Another thing that has not worked: ignoring things, knowing that I cannot change everything at once.
I guess what I am saying is, seeking balance is important in the mix. Doing otherwise can lead to exhaustion or disappointment.
All of what you said makes sense and is greatly needed in my life and certainly many others. But balance is what I need and desire.
Richard Goutal recently posted…NAMS 6 Review Best Conference for Your Training Dollar
Richard, I totally agree with you. Both extremes that you mentioned are those which we want to watch for. I appreciate your insight.
Wow! powerful and inspiring!
Thanks for the great posting. The quote: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me” was all I needed to read this morning to get things going.
Here’s one thing I know, life is much like a snow ball. Get it rolling in the right direction, then it will grow to be what you want in time. However, building the snowball and then giving it enough inertia to get it going down hill in the right direction is the hardest task, it’s also the easiest!
“Just do it” – Nike
Dereck, thanks for the comment. I love the analogy of the snowball. A great example of that is working out. It seems to take the most energy to get suited up and out the door. Once I’m going, I’m so glad that I started 🙂
The story I heard was of frogs in a bucket because they can only jump sideways they can’t jump straight up. So, they can’t get out of the bucket. So sad – if we could only see all the opportunities we would not end up like frogs or grasshoppers. Blue sky above us but all we see is wall. One tiny step towards bettering yourself is a good plan especially for people who are not good at making detailed plans. Take a tiny step everyday and eventually the steps get easier.
Nicole Rushin recently posted…Sunlight on the Fence
Nicole, I know you are a very creative person. As a creative person, how have you utilized your creative approach to make plans so that you don’t feel too constrained or stifled, yet able to have enough detail to move forward? I look forward to hearing from you on this 🙂
Your points on “stop doing what is not working for you” is a total wake up call. Sometimes my perfectionistic personality makes me focus improving my weaknesses instead of harnessing my strengths. My strengths could get me to a better place faster. Great motivating read! Thanks!
Adrian, it’s great to hear that some of this can be helpful to you. You may enjoy a couple books: Strengths Finder 2.0 will help you pinpoint your strengths: http://amzn.to/jc6o4c. And Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Steps to Outstanding Performance: http://amzn.to/lRCf6o
Totally in agreement with your post Steve. We need to take responsibility for our own destiny. What we want is not just going to land on our lap. People need to dream, set goals and then TAKE ACTION. It’s the last stage that many people tend to avoid.
Anne Perez recently posted…You don’t need to be a geek to use SEO in your Local Business
Taking action: so key! We struggle, at times, with either feeling overwhelmed by the size of our goal, or by our gaps in knowledge about strategies for accomplishing those goals. By breaking our goals down into manageable pieces and by researching the solutions to our knowledge gaps, we can reach our destination.
Great post and so true. I decided a long time ago, to stop worrying about what others should (or should not) do. I can only control my own actions, so even if I feel something is someone else’ fault, I ask myself what I can do to make the situation better. After all, you can not control what others will do next, but you can control your own destiny. Thanks for sharing this topic in such a great, upbeat, way.
Karin@SocialBookmarking recently posted…Building a thriving business using social media
Karin, thanks for your remarks. I know you to be a very successful person, so I know you have practiced all of these principles well 🙂
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted…Have You Used These Success Factors to Go From Victim to Victor
Stephen thanks for the motivation!! I have been stuck here lately it what seems to be an endless cycle of bad, but your piece has helped me see that I am in control! I am the only one that can change my life!! I am going to try to remember I am RESPONSIBLE!! Thanks again.
Valerie recently posted…Save 1195 Vons Promotion Code Coupons & Discounts
Hi Valerie. You’re welcome for the motivation. I write to get myself going as much as I write for you. I think it’s part of the human condition: the need for motivational fuel. As Zig Ziglar states, it’s like a cup with a few holes in the bottom. We need our daily dose of motivation, because by the end of the day, it’s all out 🙂
Hi Stephen,
So glad I stopped by tonight…Glad to report, too, that I actually apply a lot of this in my life. I am the oldest of 4, and I always have been “Ms. Responsible”–so much so that at times it was not too much fun. So now I’ve had to lighten up and be happy with what I do get accomplished.
I’ve had this task at hand for several months. I got really behind with all of my work as I helped a family out that was in need. It felt great, but
it did set my work way back. So I have had to realize that I cannot do it overnight. I have had to set priorities and work at them. I am still not
on top of my game, but I am getting there!
Thanks for the great post!
Linda
Linda, I was on the phone with a few other entrepreneurs last night. Teach Jim, from TeachJim.com, introduced the idea that sometimes we have to “let go” when we come up against overwhelming obstacles or goals that are too big. When we “let go” by going about our lives and living in the moment, our subconscious minds can go to work, and we often come up with solutions we may not have been aware of: including paring down the size of some of our goals. Good for you on all you are accomplishing!!
Hi Steve. I remember that story too and it was frogs but that’s basically it, those walls that we put up that aren’t really there except in our own mind. I know a few people that are so negative and always blame others, this and that, for the bad that happens in their life and while that may be an easy way out (take the blame off yourself), what a terrible and confining way to go through life.
And the “stop doing what doesn’t work for you” really is a difficult one because you really have to look under the surface. For example, if you’re afraid of success (and oftentimes you’re not even aware that this is what’s holding you back), you will continue to do things that work for you – self-sabotage that secure that lack of success because you’re afraid. So, while it isn’t what you really want, it is working for you because it’s keeping you from success. So, it’s important to really dig deep and find out what you really want and what’s holding you back (the whys and how you got there in the first place) – then take actions to overcome. Small actions done consistently over time – that’s the only way to break or develop a habit.
Laura Paulson recently posted…Google 1- What Do You Think
Laura, you make a very good point. One book I’ve found to be extremely helpful is Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life http://amzn.to/kUXV9D. It’s a workbook based on solid cognitive behavior research, and it helps us challenge beliefs that are holding us back, while building new beliefs that will propel us to where we want to be.
Hello, Stephen. Many people see that success is just about being a billionaire and getting more and more money in their life. But there is something more than money. It’s a satisfaction. Some people consider satisfaction is not merely about money. It’s about fulfilling dream. Once the dream is fulfilled than they can be said as successful persons.
Andrew Walker recently posted…VitaDigest Coupon Code
Intense stuff, Steve.
We cannot control the things that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to those things. That is, we must realize we have the ability to respond effectively at all times. This ability to respond is our “response-ability”. We must step up and accept this responsibility or forever complain about our ineffectiveness.
David Merrill recently posted…You’re A Success… In Your Own Mind
Hi, David. There is a sense of pleasure and pride that comes into our lives once we realize that we are capable of choosing our responses. It’s a very liberating feeling!
Stephen, I have to agree with you how important it is to take action to achieve your dreams. Another way of looking at it every journey starts with the first step . All the best Rosemary
Rosemary recently posted…Calling Dropbox Fans who are IPad or iPhone Owners Check This Out
Thanks, Rosemary. Once we take that first step, we truly do gain momentum for taking the next step, and the next… 🙂
Hi Steve,
Maybe I am one of many persons waiting for winning the lottery. But by reading your post, I realize that the success is not coming from winning the lottery, it comes from how we achieve the success itself.
Thanks for posting it, it’s very useful for me.
Sincerely,
Andrew
Andrew Walker recently posted…Hostgator VPS Promotional Code
Andrew, it’s great to come to that realization. By doing so, you’re way ahead of many others 🙂
this article is awesome really useful..thanks
patt recently posted…Dating Tips for Single Parents
The grasshopper story is perfect for your post. We cannot really tell sometimes that we are wrong for thinking that we are “prisoners”. It would take someone or something like this post to make us realize what we have been missing all those times.
Nick, thanks for your comment. You make a good point: sometimes the way past our fears is to associate pain with what we are missing, and pleasure with what lies beyond our barriers 🙂
i love this……
Luck is within you, it’s for you to unlock it. You have to take the courage of being a human, effort on things that you haven’t try..
Stay away from those things that you have focused all your life but have never worked out.
Begin to see what you overlook, only then can you find luck in this world.
kloe recently posted…101 Things My Husband Hated About Me
So true, we allow these glass walls to build around us which we try to remove only after we become too stressed out to move ahead. We need to have that space to breath but unfortunately we’re just too occupied with our busy lifestyles, work is all we think about so there is no quality time for ourselves nor for our loved ones. We really need to evaluate and ask ourselves whether living a life surrounded by glass walls is safer?