for 2012. I’ll list the first four steps below so that you can catch up, if this is your first time here:Step 1: Who Else Is Ready for 2012?Step 2: Get Rid of Your Baggage Once and For All
Step 3: The Lazy Man’s Way to the Best Year Yet
Step 4: Get Out of Jail NOW!
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No matter where you are going, you need to know where you are and where you are going. Imagine trying to find your way without a map, without directions. Even worse, imagine not knowing which way is north, south, east, or west!
Ships and jets, and their captains, can easily drift off course without taking regular readings of where they are relative to their destination.
Just as ship captains and pilots need to know their instruments for setting and maintaining their course, so you and I need to have our own moral compasses to keep us on course during every year of our lives. We can do this by identifying and living by our personal values.
Benefits of Personal Values
Cheaper By the Dozen
: A Case Study in Values
During some of my down time this weekend, I got to view the movie, Cheaper By the Dozen
You can see that the family is happy. The house is tattered, the furniture is worn, the kids have hand me downs. And, over the years, the father has traded career advancement for time with his family. The mother started out as a sports reporter, but after the third child came, she decided to stay home.
One day, the father is approached for the opportunity to live his dream! He’s offered a head coach at a Top Ten college. Against the kids’ wishes, he and his wife decide to go for it. They move into a gorgeous house, much bigger, with a housing allowance. The kids are able to afford better clothes, and the oldest son gets his own car.
In the midst of the move, the mother, who is writing a book, finds that her book has been accepted by a publisher! She is whisked away on a book tour.
In the midst of all the success, the father starts working more and more, since his job is very demanding. With the mother gone, the glue that holds the family is gone, and the family starts sliding into chaos. The children are having a hard time adjusting to a new school, they miss their mother, and they miss their quality time with their father. By the end of the movie, fortunately, the mother and father realize how far they have sailed from their original value of family first. The father resigns from his position, the mother stops her book tour, and they move back to their original town.
By consistently clarifying and applying our values we can:
a) Avoid a lot of pain
b) Preserve relationships
c) More effectively manage our time
c) Have greater integrity and credibility as leaders and people
e) Make more ethical decisions
How To Clarify Your Values
I depend on the Bible
I read an interesting article regarding stages of moral development that developmental psychologist Kohlberg observed in his study of ethical decision making.
Small children, at the precoventional stage of moral development, make decisions based on immediate consequences of their decisison. They only choose an ethical alternative if it’s in their immediate personal interests.
At the conventional level of moral development, people make decisions based on what they know to be the rights and wrongs taught to them by society and their family. They will sometimes make ethical decisions foregoing their self-interests.
The ideal is for people to progress from the preconventional stage, through the conventional stage, and on to the postconventional stage. At this stage, they make decisions on the basis of human rights, fairness, and justice. They are willing to ignore their self-interests, and may even violate society’s rules and norms in order to act in harmony with their personal principles. Examples of individuals like this would be Jesus Christ, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King, Jr. Individuals like this can be counted on to make ethical decisions in line with justice and virtue.
Personal Values Clarification Exercise:
In preparing for this article, I came across this helpful online exercise from Career-Test.Biz. I spent some time reflecting and prioritizing, and I came up the following top 5 values for myself:
- Integrity
- Wisdom
- Health
- Family
- Friendship
It’s helpful to reflect on this list of values. In fact, I found myself juggling and re-juggling the list until my top 5 felt just about right.
It is very helpful to have these values uppermost in your mind as you plan your goals for the upcoming year. Take time each day to notice what you are pursuing during the day. Are your time commitments in line with your values? If not, why not? Work on bringing your time commitments and your values closer together daily, and you will notice an uptick in your life satisfaction levels.
photo credit: Old Barney and the North Star by Tony the Misfit on Flickr Creative Commons
I hope you will take the time to clarify your own personal values as you get ready for 2012.
Please share your experience and thoughts with me in the comments.
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Fantastic plan on moving ahead with new inspirations in the year 2011
Sailor recently posted..Cruise Ships and Pilot Boats
Stephen,
Awesome post about how we should all live our lives! Let’s definitely let our values determine our direction in life.
Andy
Andy, thanks for stopping by. It’s amazing to me how I often drift from my values, which is why it’s so important to review them regularly.
Very inspirational article, and I like the examples you use to add emotion to the process of clarifying personal values. I agree this is so import – it all goes back to becoming clear about your “why” in life. I believe one reason people so often fall short of their goals is that they’ve never really become emotionally attached to the outcome. Great job!
Marquita Herald recently posted..Honoring Victims of Domestic Violence This Mother’s Day
Marquita, thank you for clarifying the role of emotion in connecting to our deepest values. It’s so important to consistently reflect on our Why. Thanks for the comment
Hi Stephen,
Very nice, informative, and thoughtful post. Reviewing your life, what you’ve accomplished, and where you’re going helps you to clarify your actions. I started doing this (wish I had done so earlier in life) weekly. By doing so I am able to see where I have been successful or the results of what actions I’ve taken or not. It’s a very good tool.
Lesly Federici recently posted..Walk the Talk
Lesly, thanks for sharing your experience on this topic. I’m glad that you’re engaging in this weekly. To be honest, we can actually benefit from doing this daily as well!
Stephen,
Amen!
You have directed us, to focus on self-awareness. Personal core values, leading us the way, with the guidance, of a flawless resource! WOW!
There is nothing, to add to these precious words, of knowledge. The source of your wisdom, is not one, that can be in doubt. I am energized, by the magnitude, of straight forward presentation, you have managed, to display.
I follow those core values, with the same source, daily. Yet, love is the most powerful, focus of all! Giving to others, from your heart. Supporting them, without judgment. Edifying, them daily. Looking for the goodness, in all. That goes along way, in building others, personal esteem.
You are a great asset, to our business and community. I look forward, in a rewarding, learning experience, from your blog. Please, continue to share, with your readers, and I.
William Earl Amis, Jr. III recently posted..Just Get To The Point!
William, thank you so much for your kind words! You displayed your core values in your encouragment to me
I look forward to connecting with you even more during the course of this year. Paul, in the Bible, did say that Love is one of the greatest values, so that’s a great one to focus on daily!
Hi Stephen,
Thinking about our core values, for me it all comes back to LOVE. Share the love, give it as much as you can and your life will be great. We all can do so much for those who are around us, sometimes just with a smile… It’s the same in every area and certainly on internet marketing. Creating relationships and wanting to help people, this is what it’s all about.
May love surround us!
George Tiganus
George recently posted..Comment Links- A Valuable SEO Solution Or Just A Form Of Spam
George, I do agree with you and with William Amis fro the prior comment: Love is a really great value to implement daily in our personal and professional lives. “Creating relationships and helping people: this is what it’s all about.” I could not have said it better
Twitter: KenWertM2bH
says:
Glad I followed the link over. This was another excellent post, Stephen!
Character matters. What we value will be reflected in our character. And yet so many people get caught up paying a lot of attention to their feelings and to strategies for success (all fine), but too little time examining their own character. You provide some very valuable tools here to get people thinking about those characteristics that are so important to things like honor and self-respect, happiness and our ability to influence others.
Wonderful piece of work, Stephen!
KenWert@MeantToBeHappy recently posted..Random Acts of Wisdom II: Living by Principles
Twitter: _MandySwift_
says:
hi Steve, another great article! I never heard those definitions before. It made me smile to think of children only taking the ‘moral high road’ if it was in their own self-interest! But of course, it is true. Even more true but infinitely sadder is that a lot of people get ‘stuck’ at the conventional level and end up becoming embittered ‘martyrs to their cause.’ All of us need to strive to move forward to that place that serves Everybody.
Mandy Swift @ Understanding Online Marketing recently posted..Relationship Marketing- Why Is Video Such A Powerful Tool?
Hi, Mandy! It’s a challenge for all of us to have the insight and courage to make moral decisions on behalf of others, but it’s possible if we are aware. Thanks for stopping by